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Chasing a Mirage: How Women
Are Being Robbed
of their Self-Image
The barrage of incessant
messages and images from
advertisers promising
perfect beauty in that next
jar of magic cream or
surgical sleight of hand
have brainwashed us into
chasing a mirage. The
promise of perfect beauty
offers women the possibility
of a perfect life. If we
only looked like her, used a
certain product, dressed a
certain way, or achieved a
certain weight, happiness
would be ours. This is
undermining women’s
self-worth and distorting
the self-image of our future
generations.
Have women achieved gender
equality only to subject
themselves to the
dictatorial ideal of an
elusive physical perfection?
Can we afford to agree to
live with a feeling of
constant inadequacy and
inferiority? Shouldn’t we
challenge the powerful
commercial and economic
interests behind the
fashion, cosmetics, diet,
advertising and media
conglomerates? Is it so
radical to say that women
and girls should be
celebrated for who they are
and not how they look?
When asked in surveys who
they aspire to be, most
teenage girls name fashion
models and other vacuous
celebrities, whose looks and
lifestyles are unrealistic,
unattainable and, in many
cases, entirely
manufactured. Encouraged by
media hype, they are chasing
an unhealthy mirage that
will only leave them feeling
unfulfilled. While young
women continue to define
themselves and their
self-worth by such
superficial standards, their
focus on external qualities
leaves them with a weak and
unhealthy self-image.
Judaism offers quite
different role models for
women - the matriarchs and
female leaders of Biblical
times, the ‘Woman of Worth’
idealized in Proverbs, and
the great pioneering Jewish
women of the last century.
Today, while there are many
great women who are working
hard in our communities,
they often do not receive
the recognition that they
deserve. Without positive
female leaders as role
models, younger women are
unlikely to come forward as
leaders themselves.
In calling for more women to
be appointed to communal
leadership positions, we
must recognize an equal
problem in the lack of
candidates. Even when ICJW
runs leadership training
programs, few of their
graduates go on to take
positions of responsibility.
The reluctance of many young
women to get involved in
communal organizations can
be attributed to the lack of
status and
respect
that such positions are
given. A society that values
dedication, involvement,
volunteering, and altruism
will teach its daughters
(and sons) to aspire to
those ideals, but a society
that values money, glamour
and fame will find itself
led by those who seek power
and glory.
Some ICJW affiliates are
running grassroots programs
to encourage girls to
refocus their priorities,
challenge the images with
which they are presented,
and become their own
advocates for change. But
leadership on this issue
also has to come from the
top. Jewish organizations
should be encouraging young
women to contribute, to
express themselves and to
develop their talents in
community life. Every Jewish
woman who has advanced even
one rung in her career
should be extending a hand
to offer support to someone
on a lower rung.
Everyone can be a role model
to someone younger, and can
help them redefine who and
what they aspire to be,
according to our values and
not those of Madison
Avenue. We need to open
discussions with young
people as to who our role
models are, whether they are
real, and for what reasons
we admire them. As a
community, we should be
educating women to take a
critical view of the media
and its messages and raising
the issue of self-image as a
topic of public debate in
the Jewish arena. Let’s
stop chasing the mirage and
get back to reality.
Leah
Aharonov
president @ icjw.org
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